"THE STUPIDER IT LOOKS, THE MORE IMPORTANT IT PROBABLY IS." J.R. "Bob" Dobbs

It happened as I was searching for essays on Le Jetee.
Meandering around the web I glimpsed a large fraction of my memory that had all but evaporated. 
Suddenly a belief system that defies the ordinary, celebrates abstinence from abstinence and teaches that Slack is all, flooded back into my world view. 
First lesson. If you can learn how to pull the wool over your own eyes far enough to believe in your own abnormality, then the world will not even question your sincerity. The CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS relieves you of all doubts about your own sanity. For a small donation, the Church will give you absolutley nothing.
With its motto of "Fuck Them If They Can't Take A Joke" your mental freedom is just around the corner should you choose to follow this "inherently contradictory religion".
I was first introduced to the mind altering cult by the first truly creative artist I ever encountered. Around 1989 David Fryer was the Slackest of all. I haven't spoken to him for some years now and I doubt he will have time for me. By now he'll be a SubGenius Elder of Slack, or would have renounced the faith altogether. I am, however, going to search him out and thank him for my indoctrination. 
It's not hard to comprehend just how deep the Church penetrated into my psyche. My pathetic attempts at financial gain, my distrust of authority figures, authority figure-heads, authority figurines, my distaste at corporate directors and making every level of banker my sworn enemy is a direct influence of the SubGenuis.
Strange how I could just forget my doctrinal cult influence. I'm starting to smell global conspiratorial deprogrammers at work!
Long live J.R. "Bob" Dobbs if he ever did.

Should you require more gentle persuasion this is probably your starting point.